♥
Sunday, June 24, 2007
5:57 PM
why am i such a failure?? i really cant stop thinking of u. i have been telling myself to stop that, but i really cannot do it. why must i torture myself till like this?? i have been trying very hard to forget but im still cant do it.. maybe i cant let go or rather say i dun wanna let go at all, this kind of feeling is really very sux.. but wad to do? forget abt it? NO!! i cant do that as i know that im still clinging on. ): for now i have understand one thing.. u nv worried abt me even if i were to collasp. i took sooooo long to realise this.. if u and i were fated to be, we'll be tgt no matter how long it takes. but, if its the opposite. no matter how hard i tried, we will nv to be tgt.
time to study liao.. i cant afford to lose anymore time if i really wanna go to NYJC.. now i am on my "way" to ITE.. i'm really afraid that the things which i dun wanna to happen to happen.. all i do now is slack slack slack.. many ppl have told me to study but i'm still like this.. i have promised dynamo to get a gd result but now, i'm still can BLOG!! -.-ll if i were to cont like this, not only i will disappoint dynamo, i will oso disappoint my parents who has high hopes on me.. i really hate the current me.. all i can do is to chant but i cant even concentrate on my daimoku.. let it be 10mins of daimoku.. i cant even concentrate on 1min!! i really must have this mindset to do my human revolution and kick this stupid lazyness far far away from me.. )=
Thursday
day time went to escape as its FLINT outing but only 4ppl including myself went. was somehow been forced to go la. went into the haunted house and its not like the past. it has been somehow downgraded as there is no more "GHOST" inside only machine. krystal, don and nicholas is sooooo scare till they almost scream when they went into the haunted hse and i'm there to ask nicholas to MOVE!! MOVE!! muahaha!! i'm not afraid!! ^^ play till halfway den suddenly rain. its like -.-ll i pay $12 den rain!! WALAO!! WASTE MY MONEY AND TIME LA!! play till 4.30pm den went to meet ky and yc to go lan. was late as i took the wrong bus.. den oso late for meeting eugena.. SORRY KY, YC AND EUGENA!! T.T went to KFC to tabao b4 going to meiyi's hse for fri ren practice. bought 2piece chicken meal set and i cant stop laughing when i tried to say i wanted CHICKEN BREAST as the person who is serving me is a female. eugena, ky and yc was there laughing like hell lor. went to meiyi's hse and we quickly finished our dinner. finish liao den practice practice practice and time passed soooo fast and its time to go home. ky and i accompanied eugena to potong pasir and along the way, we were crapping sooo much that it reached potong pasir very fast. home sweet home after that. ^^
Friday
waked up very early to mc engpeng but she went back to slp and woke up at 10.05am. was suppose to meet engpeng at harbourfront at 11am but thx to me la, the time was pushed later to 11.15am but den, engpeng was still late. Lol. nvm la. still got ky wif me so i wont be sooo lonely. ^^ eugena and xiulian came and we went to syc to study as after that we have our fri ren performance!! jaymie jiejie, er jie, zijing, benji, brainer, ben, rion, yc came to support us!! (thx ppl!! ^^) i dunno wad happened to me, i suddenly become like this. i walked less den 5steps each and i fall down. maybe is i didnt slp properly the night b4 and feeling hungry. but after dinner, i'm still the same. -.-ll van was sooo angry la as i didnt wanted to tell them wads wrong wif me while meiyi they all were very concerned. (van, not i wanna this to happened. i oso dunno wads wrong wif me and all i can say is, i'm not acting. i may look very energertic but actually i'm acting that i'm fine as i dun wanna your cos of me and lose the spirit that we had b4 that. well, thx meiyi, wei li, xiulian, hui min, xiuzhen for so concerned, i appreciate it. once again, thx. ^^) something happened after the performance and i dun wish to say it anymore. FRI REN IS FINALLY OVER!! YAY!! NO MORE CHINGAY DANCE! somehow sicked of that and dun wish to perform anymore after NDP as i'm trying to focus on my studies!! >.<
Saturday
its NDP combine rehearsal and b4 that, went to zouk for milkrun mass dance rehearsal. meet up wif engpeng at AMK mrt station and i dunno wads wrong wif her nowdays. very quiet, not the usual her. went to tpy and meet up eugena and thx to her parents, we were able to be at tiong bahru mrt station quite early.. THX!! ^^ went down to mrt station to meet up rion but i didnt expect the SD students were there as well cos i thought they had leave the place w/o the participant on time. (i'm sooo stupid right? ya. -.-ll Lol.) mass dance rehearsal was quite fun and crap wif rion and kaiyang who was late like abt 1hr?? -.-ll went to eat lunch at tampines mall and ky was sooo wu gu lor. went wif us for nth and didnt eat at all and went home after that. SORRY KY. swear that i will tell u till u hear it next time. forgive me. T.T go to ICA and its like damn crap. feeling sooo sleepy and abit giddy and didnt tell my "daddy&mummy"(its my trainer but i choose to call them daddy&mummy. Lol. ^^) went to the holding area at the floating platform and its damn weird. dunno why oso but feeling very weird la. b4 going to perform, i'm feeling giddy again and went to the medic there to get some "help". starting the log grp there de ppl dun allow me to go in and perform de. but due to my insisted on performing, i'm allowed to perform! yay! woohoo! haha!! did music run for one time and finale dance twice. -.-ll crap sooo much liao la den jian jia and an li told me to stay away from zijing they all. thx to samantha and vanessa la. -.-ll forget it la. hate u two man. Lol. went to eat and THX erjie!! treat me eat 2piece chicken meal!! ^^ home sweet home after that. ^^
Sunday
today is sooo crap. went to AMK mrt station wif gene to meet engpeng. expected sooling to be there and hidded from her when we saw her. Lol. so mean of both of us. engpeng reached and sms-ed me this funny msg, "u went back to slp ah?" LOL!! how am i suppose to went back slp when i was alrdy there wif gene?? -.-ll went to marina promenade and i'm ready for run and games. i'm in another grp but smuggle into gene's grp cos dun1 ps him. haha! vincci and sooling later on came to my grp and gen li is oso inside my grp! yay! ^^ got one game station which is the poky station, the grp captain was suppose to play scissor, paper, stone wif the game master den the more u win, the longer stick u'll get for the game. game rule : pass the stick using ur mouth and w/o using ur hand and passed it. each time u pass, u must bite off the stick. started the game and its time for me to pass to vincci, she was like reluctant and weide says that is not FUN la. he very wad sia, only wanted us to lose our first kiss. -.-ll went to chang san north zandankai after the milkrun trg and was feeling very tired and slept awhile during the meeting. the leaders behind engpeng said that i'm noisy and crap soo much. well, i have to change this stupid habit of crapping so much during meet. hais. give them a bad impression for cheng san north. my bad. >.<>
guess i have to stop here. will post if i got time. Sayonara~ ^^